Day 23 – Courage


Courage can either mean” to do something that frightens one”  (think Bronchoscopy without GA) or perhaps more meaningful in my situation “strength in the face of pain or grief”.

No matter the definition I thought it might be worth reflecting on this concept today.

Today has been a fantastic day!  In fact if probably is the without doubt the best day I’ve had since entering RMH almost 3 weeks ago.   The reason for this is finally I am lifting out of the neutropenic stage and for the first time my Neutrophils count has moved off the flat line.  It registered 0.1 today which means I am slowly generating my own healthy blood cells once again.  The nutritionists have asked me to start eating again and although I am cautious I will give this a shot.

So where does courage fit in?

Just like setting up a plan to tackle the things that I can control courage is one of those things you have to take on board to see yourself through the next phase – that might be the next day (I am not looking beyond days yet) or more likely the next hour or in some cases the next 10 minutes.

There are plenty of things I have not written about – pain, badly scrambled brain thoughts and patterns, sore body from being in the one position too long that all add to pain.  For me it is a matter of assessing the situation (and the real pain – ie do I need pain killers!) and then working on the plan forward to tackle the situation (more planning!!)

For example after sitting or lying in bed for a few hours the body gets quite sore.  My response is to get up and either do a few laps around the ward to perhaps try a few Yoga movements to stretch the body.

It would be much easier to stay flopped in bed but of course that only adds to the pain and does not show any courage at all.

So for me courage is not about heroic activities but more the motivation to keep myself on the track that I need to be on for a full recovery.

For those readers out there with a strong interest in the Science behind my condition AMML (FLT 3 Var) then you will now find some additional information on the Haematology 101 page on the Blog.

11 thoughts on “Day 23 – Courage

  1. Great news on the Neutrophils count, go you good thing.

    Was a loverly day on the bay this afternoon, cautious, no fish, but 10 kts wind, flattish water, who could ask for more.


    Andrew Irvine



  2. Great you have turned the corner. You have great courage or good common sense which most people lose when going through what has happened to you
    You make us very proud to be our son


  3. Geoff you are an inspiration to us all – keep being brave and your planned approach to every minute, every day, every week etc is courageous in itself. Thinking of you. Warmest
    Regards Kirsty Willows


  4. Great to hear the neutrophils count is on the up and you’ve had a good day Geoff! Thank you for having the courage to share the journey on this blog!! I enjoy checking in each day and am always thinking of you, Jan and the fam. Has there been any progress with the outdoor garden?


  5. Fantastic news the old white ones are happening.

    After yesterday’s blog I was wondering whether you left your chewing gum on the bed post overnight…? Lonnie Donegan. Although you may be too young to remember the tune. See

    Went to Henty Field Day yesterday with Mal Robbo and Alistair Drummond – a huge event with so many exhibits including the largest machinery I’ve ever seen and more socks for sale than feet on the ground.

    Nice weather today again – but we need rain. Preparations for the Aero Club Open Day tomorrow.

    Hope even more whities tomorrow. Have a restful night.

    Geoff B


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